Telephone Free Landslide Victory
by Camper Van Beethoven

  1. Border Ska
  2. The Day That Lassie Went to the Moon
  3. Wasted
  4. Yanqui Go Home
  5. Oh No!
  6. 9 of Disks
  7. Payed Vacation: Greece
  8. Where the Hell is Bill?
  9. Vladivostock
  10. Skinhead Stomp
  11. Tina
  12. Take the Skinheads Bowling
  13. Mao Reminisces About His Days in Southern China
  14. I Don't See You
  15. Balalaika Gap
  16. Opi Rides Again - Club Med Sucks
  17. Ambiguity Song
Waded through by Warren Lapham.
I'm fairly confident about most of the lyrics, but if you find anything wrong or have suggestions, send them to 'mrbungle@churchst.ccs.itd.umich.edu'.

Border Ska

(Instrumental)

The Day That Lassie Went to the Moon (tab)

My little dog ran away the other day
I can't believe my little dog Lassie ran away
She packed her bags and got into a hot-air balloon
Then my little dog Lassie, she sailed off to the moon
The day, the day
That was the day that Lassie went to the moon
My little dog Lassie packed her bags and went out onto the porch
Her golden fur glistened in that sunny blue backdrop sky of Kansas
Before her stretched majestic wheat fields and over to that great city to the west
Lassie knew she had the duty to serve the youth of America and the stars above

Wasted (tab)

I was so wasted
I was a surfer
I had a skateboard
I was so heavy and I lived on the strand
I was a dumb shit
And I was a fuck-up
I was so napped out I was out of my head
I was so wasted
I was a hippie
And I was a burn-out
I was so wasted I was out of my head
I was a punker
I had a mohawk
I was so gnarly and I drove my dad's car

Yanqui Go Home (tab)

(Instrumental)

Oh No! (tab)

I sat on the porch
Listened to the rain
Smoked a cigarette
And counted to ten
Oh no, here it comes again
That funny feeling
Oh no, here it comes again
That funny feeling
One was not serious
And one was confused
One was just vicious
And one was like you
I sat on the porch
Listened to the rain
Smoked another cigarette
And counted to ten
Here it comes again

9 of Disks

(Instrumental)

Payed Vacation: Greece (tab)

(Instrumental)

Where the Hell is Bill? (tab)

Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Where, where the Hell is Bill?
Well, maybe he went to get a sideways haircut
Maybe he went to get a striped shirt
Maybe he went to get some plastic shoes
Maybe he went to get some funny sunglasses
Well, maybe he went to get an Air Force parka
Maybe he went to get a Vespa scooter
Maybe he went to get a British flag
Maybe he went to go Mod Ska dancing
Well, maybe he went to get a mohawk
And maybe he went to get some gnarly thrash boots
Maybe he went to go ride his skateboard
Maybe he went to see the Circle Jerks

Vladivostok

(Instrumental)

Skinhead Stomp

(Instrumental)

Tina

(God knows!!)

Take the Skinheads Bowling (tab)

Every day, I get up and pray to Jah
And he decreases the number of clocks by exactly one
Everybody's comin' home for lunch these days
Last night there were skinheads on my lawn
Take the skinheads bowling
Take them bowling
Take the skinheads bowling
Take them bowling
Some people say that bowling alleys got big lanes
Some people say that bowling alleys all look the same
There's not a line that goes here that rhymes with anything
I has a dream last night, but I forget what it was
I had a dream last night about you, my friend
I had a dream--I wanted to sleep next to plastic
I had a dream--I wanted to lick your knees
I had a dream--it was about nothing

Mao Reminisces about his Days in Southern China

(Instrumental)

I Don't See You

You're under my sheets
And you give me the creeps
You won't go away
And I never asked you to stay
But I don't see you at all
No, I don't see you at all
You won't go away
And I never asked you to stay
You're waking me at night
Away from my dreams
But I don't see you at all
No, I don't see you at all

Balalaika Gap (tab)

(Instrumental)

Opi Rides Again - Club Med Sucks (tab)

I don't have to go to school for an entire week
I just want to go down to Newport Beach
Mom and Dad want to tell me where to go
They wanna go to Club Med San Carlos
Club Med sucks
Authority sucks
I hate golf
I wanna play lacrosse
The people there, they are so stupid
They exploit the poor and the weak
I want no part of their death culture
I just wanna go to the beach

Ambiguity Song (tab)

Everything seems to be up in the air at this time
Everything seems to be up in the air at this time
One day soon, it'll all settle down
Everything seems to be up in the air at this time
All across the nation, people are gettin' together
From many ideas they form a single goal
Some people are gonna benefit
And others gotta sacrifice
But everything seems to seems to be up in the air at this time
I got some certain special feelings for you
I got some certain special feelings for you
I don't know if they're good or bad
But I just might give you a call
Everything seems to be up in the air at this time


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